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Satire
 
Klayman: Let's Paint "Golf Lives Matters!" on All Fairways!
 
 
By Author unknown
August 26, 2020
 
I am a member of golf's lower 99%.

I am an indifferent golfer, and there's no way I could ever make it to the professional level. I will never put in the practice time to be the best. I will never have the shots, skills, or mental toughness to "make it" in the sport. I just never felt like working all that hard at it.

However, I am a part of the golfing community and, as such, feel I should be paid by the top 1% of golfers for what I do. It isn't fair that those players who have worked harder, have studied the game, have better equipment and are more skilled and dedicated should make all that BIG money.

Where's my share? I'm a Victim here! The top 1% should pay for my club memberships, green fees, lessons and buy me new clubs, balls, clothes and shoes, and pay me some of their winnings. They can afford it. They are "The Rich." The whole system should be changed to redistribute their wealth to accommodate people like me.

I propose that those of us in Golf's bottom 99 % should get together and occupy a golf course, and demand that those who are better at what they do than we are, pay for us who generally suck at the game.

Whining should get us something - maybe we'll make the cover of Time Magazine, garnish some public sympathy. Hell, during this election year we may even get a law or two passed by legislators who want our votes.

Remember: GOLF LIVES MATTER!

P.S. Don't mention this to tennis players. We thought of it first.

 
 
 
 
 
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